All posts by Michelle Joo

Letters from the Hospital: My Story Does Not End Here

Hello everyone!

Congratulations to those who were finished with the badge requirement. I know that it is past April 9th of 2015, but I am posting this because of my pure interest. Because of my sicknesses, I opened up this project as my way of communicating with you all. I opened this project to advocate for those who are struggling in University of Calgary, and also to connect my illnesses to Shakespearan literature.

After suffering from various episodes and attacks, I found myself in the hospital again on Thursday of the last week. I was, again, wheeled into the EMS vehicle with the IV in the right arm, lying down in the hospital bed.

In all honesty, I surely thought I was going to perish. I thought death was imminent. And at the thought of leaving everything behind that I love, I emailed my professors and my friends to make sure that they will not grieve my death, and at the hospital, lying beside my boyfriend who came to see me, I said my parting words.

But my story does not end here.

I continue to live on, and back again at school, full-time, I began to experience what it is like to live again. I made it through a crucial time and began to know that life is so precious.

When you are struggling with your life, it is sometimes hard to find the beauty in life. When I started experiencing fatal symptoms of my illness, I was so afraid of losing everything I love, but I was so tired. I understand that many students in University of Calgary go through the same illnesses as me, and I just want to let them know that your story does not end here.

I know that life is difficult, and I surely know the pain of suffering. I know the pain of life, and the struggle that one might go through in their life. But, your life is so precious and if you perish, you are leaving your friends behind, your loved ones, your professor, and everyone that you love. Your life cannot be replaced- it’s unique like a pink diamond, crucial to our society, and beautiful like a flower. You are valued and we love you so, so much. Did I also mention that you are amazing? Because I think you are amazing, and your story matters to us.

If anyone needs to talk to me, please don’t hesitate to message me. My name is Michelle Joo and you will be able to find me easily on Facebook, and on tumblr as poeticfeelings. Help is here if you need it. I will be glad to greet and help you with the best of my knowledge.

Our story does not ends here.
It surely won’t.
Please stay.

-Michelle

 

 

Letters from the Hospital: On Sonnet 30

Hello guys! I bring you another post for my project, Letters from the Hospital.

In this podcast, I talk about my past. (Phew.) It’s something that I don’t talk about very often, but it helps to raise awareness about childhood abuse/bullying so I decided to share with you guys what my experiences were like when I was young.

I also connect my past with sonnet 30. Sonnet 30 talks about pain, grievances, and sorrow. I can say that I felt like that when I was abused. However, looking back into my past, I felt like like the last two lines, I was able to gain hope and move on again.

I hope you guys enjoyed this post. This is really important to me and my abuse experiences has been part of my life for a long time (and still is).

Letters from the Hospital: Why I Colour My Books

There is a reason why I color my books.

I suffer from a disability, actually, multiple disabilities. This is caused by the condition  called scoliosis. I also suffer from some troubles with reading, writing, and speaking. Scoliosis is a condition of the spine, and because of it, I have curved and twisted spine. (Don’t worry, I am still living.)

Although I manage to live a normal life, it has been very difficult. I received my spine surgery when I was in Korea around 2012, and that helps me to continue daily activities I do every day. My difficulty with time and reading still plagues me to this day.

To cope with my illnesses, I use color to differentiate important details. You can see here:

WIN_20150406_183634

And I write as much as I can to remember important details.

WIN_20150406_183652

These are some important techniques I use today. I started learning how to manage my symptoms of my illnesses better with therapist, and as time flows, things are getting better.

I hope you enjoyed this post of my project, Letters from the Hospital.

To starters on this project, my name is Michelle. I have four illnesses that brought me to Peter Lougheed. I’m back (finally) but I had to travel back to Foothills Medical Centre (different hospital this time!) to get treated for those problems.

Please let me know if you have any questions. 🙂
I am happy to share these moments with you guys. It’s slow, but a happy recovery.

-Michelle

Voyant for The Winter’s Tale

I have used Voyant to analyze the entire Act 5 of The Winter’s Tale. Here is what I found:

voyant (Winter's Tale, Act 5)

 

The persona, “I” is used a lot in this act. It is because Leontes is showing his grief, using the persona “I”. In this play, he speaks of joy but he also speaks of grief. Other words that are more frequently used are ‘and’, ‘the’, and ‘to’. I suspect that word ‘to’ is used often because it is the act that he greets the crew from Bohemia.

Thank you for reading!

Sincerely,

Michelle Joo

 

Shuffling lines: Trolius and Cressida

For my writing badge, I decided to switch lines in the introduction of Trolius and Cressida. Here it is:

In Troy, there lies the scene. From isles of Greece
The princes orgulous, their high blood chafed,
Have to the port of Athens sent their ships,
Their crownets regal, from the Athenian bay
Put forth toward Phrygia;
Fraught with the ministers and instruments
Of cruel war: sixty and nine, [and] their vow is made
To ransack Troy,The ravish’d Helen, Menelaus’ queen,
Within whose strong immures
With wanton Paris sleeps; and that’s the quarrel.
To Tenedos they come;
And the deep-drawing barks do there disgorge
Their warlike fraughtage: now on Dardan plains
The fresh and yet unbruised Troys do pitch
Their brave pavilions: Priam’s six-gated city,
Dardan, and Tymbria, Helias, Chetas, Troien,
And Antenorides, with massy staples
And corresponsive and fulfilling bolts,
Sperr up the sons of Greece.
Now expectation, tickling skittish spirits,
On one and other side, Trojan and Greek,
Sets all on hazard: and hither am I come in confidence
A prologue arm’d, but not
Of author’s pen or actor’s voice, but suited
In like conditions as our argument,
To tell you, fair beholders, that our play
Leaps o’er the vaunt and firstlings of those broils,
Beginning in the middle, starting thence away
To what may be digested in a play.
Like or find fault; do as your pleasures are:
Now good or bad, ’tis but the chance of war.

Here I switched up the prologue to seem that Troy is winning, and Troy’s queen is Helen (which is the other way around) and I switched the narrator’s voice to be more confident. This way, Troy is winning and Greece is being destroyed.

I hope that you enjoyed this post!

Vale,
Michelle Joo

Letters from the Hospital: Shakespearan Sonnet

Hello everyone! I have been asked to return to the hospital again; This time, I was connected with an IV to make sure that I was breathing enough. I was released on Sunday, but I came home with 20 stickers on my body that was connected to an ECG machine. I’ve been battling with this illness for four years; nothing helped. I have tried more than 100 ECG process, many moments of therapy, and medications. I am slowly recovering, but I was always in the hands of illness.

This is the third post of my project, Letters in the Hospital; I have about 10 more pages I would like to share with you, but until September 9th, I will be posting most of them. This is a sonnet I have composed when I was at Foothills Medical Centre.

Alas, I am in the hands of illness;
I have a voice inside that is yearning to speak.
My illness gives me hope, but much sadness.
I have no choice but to speak in a voice so weak.
Tell me, that I am going to wake up and walk in hope,
Rather than losing myself in the path to recovery.
I wish I could fly and tell my worried my friends that I could cope,
But my friends find me crying:  a worrisome discovery.
Take me from this cold hospital bed to my home,
To my children, my friends, and the one I love;
For this is not my place, my place belongs under the heaven’s dome-
I wish I could fly, like those beautiful birds, like a white dove.

I hope you enjoyed this post for my project. Happy Easter!

Sincerely,
Michelle Joo

Jog on, jog on the footpath way

 

 

 

 

This is the recording I have made for The Winter’s Tale.  If you go to the last section of the book, you will see a section called ‘music’. I have looked into this section and decided to sing the song based on Act 4 and scene 3. It is called ‘Jog on, jog on, the footpath way’. I hope you guys enjoy the song!

Sincerely,
Michelle Joo

Does that make me a bad person? : Letters from the Hospital

Does that make me a bad person?

We use this question when we feel that the feelings that we have are not adequate enough for our situation. For me, when I was in the hospital for a week, I felt this- according to my diary:

I don’t understand why I am suddenly so sick. I feel awful, weak, and I cannot even walk. The machines blink, and I dare not to touch it. I am fragile. Does this make me an awful person?

In fact, this is an extremely personal statement. When I was writing this poem, I felt that this was Marvolio in Twelfth Night when he was condemmed to a dark room, by himself. As if I was Marvolio, condemmed to my ill health, I wrote this poem, which is illustrated below:

does that make me a bad person

You can see that I illustrated Marvolio in a square room, helpless and weak. This can be an illustration of Marvolio’s madness and his helplessness.

I hope you enjoyed the first post of my project. If you are thinking of exploring more into the project, please visit my poetry blog, poeticfeelings.tumblr.com. 🙂

Have an amazing weekend!

Sincerely,
Michelle Joo

Launching a new project: Letters from the Hospital

Hello to the students of English 205!

My name is Michelle Joo, a first- year English major and a future music minor (starting in September). In the course of English 205, you might have seen my post regarding the Latin language of Shakespearan literature, gaming posts, and other posts regarding this course.

Recently, I had to miss two courses due to the fact- I recently learned- that my four illnesses have returned. Therefore, I had to be transported to Foothills Hopsital, and later re-transported to Peter Lougheed. I’m back full time now, but my illnesses can blow my health in any moment. Therefore, with my sorrowful heart but with joy, I am launching a new project, which will be about my journey in Peter Lougheed- including all the Shakespearn posts I will post regarding this course.

This project will be called: Letters from the Hospital: Illustrations Drawn and Written in Peter Lougheed Centre.

Whilst I was there, I have drawn and illustrated many of poems and works that are related to Shakespearan literautre. This collection of writings include personal reflections,  drawings, letters, and others.

I will be posting various works throughout the time left in this course (I believe about two weeks???).

I hope that you will enjoy my new project! I will be posting soon.

Sincerely
Michelle Joo

This is the cover page!

cover page